A Dancer's Struggle

Anna invaded my personal space. Uninvited, she entered my home. I remember when she first sat down with the family during dinner. Everyone was engaging with her, while I sat there silently observing. She was speaking about subjects I had heard of but had never considered in that manner. Once Anna had left my house for the first time, I thought that would be the end of her. Unbeknownst to me, she was in my class at school the next day. The words she had spoken the night before seemed to linger in the air, reaching my classmates and me. When it was time for lunch, Anna was wandering around, looking for a spot. However, she did not seem worried about not knowing anyone. She had a presence that drew everyone in. I was attracted to her appearance and invited her to join us for lunch. Anna and I talked about everything under the sun during that first lunch. Our lifestyle, hobbies, favorite foods, and sports that interest us. During our conversation at lunch, I knew we would become close frie

  The spectrum of eating disorders is often veiled. Throughout human experiences, misconceptions about all things are developed daily. While anorexia and bulimia can be triggering words, there are lesser-known disorders that equally invade people's lives- like a parasite. These are often eluded and misunderstood. This leaves individuals who experience these disorders feeling invisible and dissimilar. Throughout this blog post, I will be discussing the overlooked sides of mental health and the types of eating disorders that go under the radar. Here's to everyone's journey, because no one is the same. Let's lift the veil through public awareness and understanding.    Before reading, please know that I am not an expert on any of these topics. For peer-reviewed resources, please see the reference list at the end. My goal is to raise awareness and be a voice for people.   Drunkorexia: Adults and some teens,  may restrict their food intake before drinking or going out. The r

  Intuitive Movement:  Before I begin on intuitive movement, to whoever is reading, ask yourself these questions: How would you describe your relationship with intuitive movement? Do I use movement in an unhealthy way because I dislike my appearance? Am I exercising to allow myself to eat food later? Intuitive movement is not something that just applies to people who struggle with eating disorders. In society today, many people are fixated on exercise or exercise goals. The phrase “no pain, no gain” comes to mind when I am talking about this. However, this mindset can be destructive and lead to overexercising, body dysmorphia, disordered eating, and more. The mindset should be focused on trying to find pleasurable movement. Exercising to keep your mind and body healthy does not have to be vigorous or dreadful. If a person likes intense workouts, that's amazing because it works for them. On the other hand, someone should not be working out to punish their body. The entire concept o

  The temperature outside was dropping and so was my body’s core temperature.  This time of year brings up many emotions and memories. Some are good, but most are painful and uncomfortable. I will cut right to it. The winter season is brutal for people with eating disorders. It gets harder to hide. The winter months are not just hard because of all the holidays surrounding food, the weather hurts our bodies. My bones would hurt from being extremely cold.  No matter the level of severity that someone's eating disorder, it is always important to have extra care for people around the holidays (no matter, what everyone is valid and deserves to recover) In the hardest times of my eating disorder, holiday meals were always around. I was tip-toeing around eating and trying to hide my sickness as much as possible. Even if your loved ones know about your eating disorder, meals can still be really difficult. Especially when there is an increasing amount of diet-culture talk that goes on arou

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are" (Marilyn Monroe). Oftentimes, more often than not, we perceive ourselves as our negative thoughts. We can intentionally do it or not. These negative thoughts are normal. Thinking of fighting off these thoughts or beating them can be overwhelming in the sense that they will automatically go away after one time of "beating them up." Instead of this mindset, we can use it to defuse them and detach yourself from made-up perceptions of yourself inside your head. Throughout treatment, I have found or been introduced to nine techniques to use that I find helpful when I am being invaded by unhelpful views of myself.  Cognitive fusion is having the frame of mind that "I am my thoughts, and what I am thinking is true." Some examples of these ideations could be, "I am not as pretty as him/her. I will never succeed in life. My legs are too big. I do not do enough movement for food." A simple exa

It is normal to have a smaller window of tolerance during stressful times. The idea of the "window of tolerance" was developed by Dan Siegel, a clinical professor of psychiatry. When someone is inside their window of tolerance, they are in their best state and can function and flourish in events that day. When you are in this window, you feel as if you can deal with whatever is happening in your life. You might feel stress or pressure, but it does not bother you too much or to the point where you crumble. As an example, here you can be alert but not overly anxious. When we are pushed out of our window of tolerance, there are two states of arousal you can be pushed into: a mix or somewhere in between. There is no set definition of what someone might be feeling. The Window of Tolerance is not black and white because feelings and emotions are not black and white, there are lots of grays in between.  Hyperarousal Zone: When in this zone, you might feel anxious, angry, out of co