A Dancer's Struggle

  The spectrum of eating disorders is often veiled. Throughout human experiences, misconceptions about all things are developed daily. While anorexia and bulimia can be triggering words, there are lesser-known disorders that equally invade people's lives- like a parasite. These are often eluded and misunderstood. This leaves individuals who experience these disorders feeling invisible and dissimilar. Throughout this blog post, I will be discussing the overlooked sides of mental health and the types of eating disorders that go under the radar. Here's to everyone's journey, because no one is the same. Let's lift the veil through public awareness and understanding.    Before reading, please know that I am not an expert on any of these topics. For peer-reviewed resources, please see the reference list at the end. My goal is to raise awareness and be a voice for people.   Drunkorexia: Adults and some teens,  may restrict their food intake before drinking or going ou...

(Set Point Weight) The body uses energy for many things. We need energy for brain power, moving around, sitting, standing, emotions, etc. When we are not getting enough food, aka "restriction," our body slows down. The body will go into survival mode and only use energy for what is absolutely necessary. Due to this, the metabolism ultimately slows down. From here, the body has to heal from this period of time when it hasn’t been fueled properly. Restriction does not look the same for everyone. Just having those mental labels about "good" and "bad" foods and neglecting groups of foods can still exhaust your body and brain. Mental restriction and physical restriction both take a toll on your body. The body needs way more energy than expected. If someone's labs are ok that does not mean someone has found their set point weight.  Set-point theory is brought into play during recovery, but this is something that needs to be talked about more. Your "set ...

  I had never been so nervous or afraid, but soon I would find out I was surrounded by the best people. In August of 2021, I started intensive outpatient treatment at Evolve Healing. Evolve is an eating disorder treatment center. My first “technical” day was meeting with my treatment team and evaluating what kind of care I would be getting. This check in process typically takes most of the day and your parent or guardian is with you. Also on this day I wasn’t allowed to see any  of the other patients I would be in treatment with. The following day, August 5th, was my first official day of treatment. Since I was in IOP my day started at 3pm. I would walk in and check myself into the front desk and fill out a paper everyday that asked how I was feeling. Next, I would meet the PHP kids in the dining hall for afternoon snack. I remember not knowing what snack I was going to be given on the first day, or if I even had any say in it. This created some anxiety for me, because I wasn’...

  I was in the middle of my daily mile long walk when I got a call. Little did I know this call would have been the one to save my life. It was the summer time, and I hadn’t admitted to having an eating disorder. My parents and doctors put me on a 3,000 calorie diet. They were confused as to why I hadn’t gained a pound. I wasn’t though. I was pretending to eat, throwing away my food when they weren’t looking, and over exercising . At this point, I was at my lowest weight ever and lowest point in my life. My family medicine doctor back in May had suggested a treatment program for eating disorders. I told her no because, “I didn’t have an eating disorder”. She had told me, “I am putting you on the waitlist because I am scared for you. You are dying”. Fast forward a month later it was the week leading up to my dance nationals. The treatment center had called my parents saying there was a spot open for me starting on Monday. If I didn’t take the spot, they would give my place to someon...

     I remember being on stage and telling myself to push through and that I am fine. That was a total lie. It was recital weekend and we were performing multiple shows a day. I was dancing throughout most of the production. I was in my eating disorder and I had barely eaten anything at all that week. On the days we had recital I went all day only eating an apple. I wouldn’t eat any other food those days until after I was done dancing. When the shows were over I would go home to eat dinner, the first real food I had eaten all day. It was 9:30 at night. Dinner would take me so long to eat because I would savor that food because I knew I wouldn’t let myself have another meal until the next night. My stomach was so small that I couldn’t even take in much food without getting full. These days were some of the darkest because I felt like passing out every show and didn’t tell anyone. At that point it was mind over matter I definitely could have passed out, but I kept pushing. ...

      This is my story about my time with ED. I wanted to share my experience with others to encourage people and help raise awareness for this mental health disorder. My battle started in November of 2019. I had just moved to Wisconsin and had started a new school and dance program. I remember the date, November 1st, I had my first office visit with my new doctor. Everything was fine, it was just as any other appointment would go. Towards the end of my visit, she asked my dad to step out of the room. My doctor then proceeded to tell me," I know its fun in Wisconsin, but slow down on the brats and cheese curds." She continued to say how I was overweight. After that appointment, I never told anyone what she said because it hadn't effected me yet. Fast forward to March of 2020, the coronavirus hit. My school had shut down and my dance studio. There was nothing for me to control in my life because I didn't know what was going to happen next. My mind then starts to ...